“I love having an electronic to-do list, because with my brain, my biggest fear is forgetting something. So I’ll prioritize something that is not a high priority. But if I can get it onto a to do list, then I’m comfortable that it’s somewhere. And then from that list, that goes into the calendar, and once I’ve got things into the calendar, my stress always go down, because I know I’ve got some kind of plan.”
Tony Cosentino | The WP Guy
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Managing the juggle of being a parent and a business owner is hard enough, but add ADHD to the mix and it suddenly gets a whole lot harder.
Today’s guest is also my partner! #awkward.
But I really wanted to get him on the show because not only is he an amazing dad, who does the lion’s share of childcare in his family set-up, he’s also a great example of someone who has acknowledged his neurodivergence and worked through the positives and negatives.
He’s developed strategies to make him more focused and productive, to complete tasks, be present and overcome his money mindset issues.
It’s a great episode for anyone who struggles with the ability to plan and a wonderful example of how to turn your kryptonite into a genuine superpower.
Tune in to learn:
- What Tony’s family dynamic looks like
- How Tony splits his time between business and family time
- Why communication is key for successful co-parenting
- Tony’s parenting style
- What changes Tony has made to become more productive
- How Tony has evolved his business to work for his diagnosis and his family time
- How Tony practices self-care
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And big thanks to Chippies5169 from Australia for their lovely review:
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About Tony Cosentino
Tony has done a few things in his life like running fast food restaurants and running a hotel to being in the Navy, diving and working on weapon and radar systems. But when he started building websites that is where he found his passion to this day, though slightly evolved to fixing and improving websites for their owners on many levels.
He is also the proud father of 4 children who he adores and admires. He is also very proud to have Kate (me) as his partner in life and many other adventures.
Fun fact: Tony owns and loves to use, when he has time, a sewing machine and an overlocker.
Connect with Tony Cosentino
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Transcript
Kate Toon:
Managing the juggle of being a parent and a business owner is hard enough, but add ADHD to the mix and it suddently gets a whole lot harder.
Today’s guest is also my partner! #awkward.
But I really wanted to get him on the show because not only is he an amazing dad, who does the lion’s share of childcare in his family set up, he’s also a great example of someone who has acknowledged his neurodivergence and worked through the positives and negatives.
He’s developed strategies to make him more focused and productive, to complete tasks, be present and overcome his money mindset issues.
It’s a great episode for any one who struggles with the ability to plan and a wonderful example of how to turn your kryptonite into a genuine super power.
Hello, my name is Kate Toon, founder of stay tuned, busy business owner and okayish parent. And today I’m talking with Tony Cosentino. Hi, Tony.
Tony Cosentino:
Hello.
Kate Toon:
Hello. So let me introduce you to everybody who doesn’t know who you are. Tony has done a few things in his life like running fast food restaurants and running a hotel to being in the Navy diving and working on weapon and radar systems. But when he started building websites, that is where he found his passion. To this day, those slightly evolved to fixing and improving websites for their owners on many levels. He is the proud father of four children who he adores and admires is also very proud to have Kate me as his partner in life and many other adventures. I didn’t know he’d written that into his bio until I just read that they’re fun fact Tony owns and loves to use when he has time a sewing machine, and overlocker. So for those of you who can’t see, Tony, he does not look like the kind of man who would use a sewing machine. And I know that you’re an avid cyber, you haven’t sold anything for a while. Have you made a lot of face masks during COVID.
Tony Cosentino:
Yeah, I was making a spider man mask and all kinds of crazy stuff. And it was great when I had the time. And I just haven’t dedicated some time to getting back into it. But I do love it.
Kate Toon:
Well, this is it. Because obviously you are my partner. So I know that with you, you get very passionate about a particular project. And then all of a sudden, you’re not passionate about that project. There are many abandoned devices in the house of tiny cars and teenagers. And that’s all you’ve kind of accounted for that with your diagnosis of a DD not ADHD. But add, do you think that plays into that little bit?
Absolutely, absolutely. I go find something new, I go down the rabbit hole way down into it. Like I didn’t just like coffee, for example. I had to learn how to roast coffee, myself and then I had to learn how to build my own coffee roasters and, you know, that’s the kind of rabbit hole depths I go to, very deep.
Kate Toon:
Yeah, I think well, well. So I’m interested to talk about that, and how that plays into your parents in your business. But I do remember very early on when we started dating, like, I get bored of things very, very quickly. And then you kind of look to me up and down. And I was like, Oh, great. But so far, we’re nearly five years and you haven’t got bored with me yet. Have you? Or have you don’t tell me on the podcast?
Tony Cosentino:
No. You’re multi dimensional for that.
Kate Toon:
I have many dimensions. Yes, I do. Me myself and I have seven or eight personality. So that helps. So tell us tell the listeners about your family setup. You have four children, but there’s a yawning gap between the four of them.
Tony Cosentino:
Yes, yes. So there’s like a 20 year gap between the between them. So the two oldest are adults living their own lives, and doing fantastic things in Brisbane, and my two youngest are in Sydney where I am. And I spend half of the week with them like every other weekend and many days during the week, getting to school and get into the activities and doing being very involved with them. So it’s a very dynamic kind of setup. There’s not a lot of gaps, we keep contact with them regularly, which I really like.
Kate Toon:
So and your, your daughter, your daughter, who’s in Brisbane actually also works me as well. So it kind of a family enterprise, the Cosentino-Toon enterprise is very nice. So you mentioned, I mean, you kind of like it’s at least 50/50, if not a little bit more egg towards you in terms of looking after your kids. So you have them, you know, pretty much every other day. So obviously, you know, for full transparency, you separated from your partner about four or five years ago, and have managed to co parent well and keep things amicable. And why did you make the decision not to kind of do the whole week on week off thing as most parents do?
Tony Cosentino:
Yeah, it started out I think because I didn’t want to disrupt the current the routine that we were because we originally, the week was broken up already into workdays some one of us could work, the other one didn’t work those days. And I kind of wanted to keep that continuity so that the workflow could continue and the kids could have, not be disrupted completely. The whole life turned upside down. It was more gradual. And for me, I prefer it anyway. Because it’s not like we’re strangers when we see them. You know, imagine a week later, you’d feel like a bit of a stranger. I’d like the regular contact so that
both me my ex wife and my kids all feel like they know each other well.
Kate Toon:
Yeah, I mean, I think people will be impressed by that. I mean, it takes a lot of communication with you and your ex who’s you know, obviously, relatively easy going and you get on well, I mean, you must have pretty pretty good communication skills, the two of you to manage that juggle. It feels weird talking about this as if I don’t know. But you know, that’s a lot of contacts, you know that you’re having day in, day out. So do you think that’s been quite key to keeping everything smooth the communication?
Tony Cosentino:
Absolutely. And you have to be very non-confrontational, you’ve just got to be prepared to suck it up on Sundays not get cranky about, you know, things being moved around. And it, you have to prioritize the kids side of things. If you’re going to do that. If you want to be all about you, then yeah, you could make things really hard for everyone.
Kate Toon:
But yeah, I mean, obviously, we, you know, separated at similar times, my setups a little bit different. But one thing we always said, when we started our relationship was that the kids would always come first. And so we’ve made a lot of compromises ourselves to to achieve that, like, sometimes we don’t see each other two, three weeks at a time, because things just don’t line up, or it’s one of our kids birthdays. And we therefore have to miss the weekends. And we’ve we’ve it’s sometimes a struggle. But I’m still I don’t think either as well, I definitely don’t regret that struggle, I think it’s worth it, you know, putting the kids first.
Tony Cosentino:
I agree, I agree. Because the kids one day will grow up and head off to do their own thing. And you want to have that bond that lasts a lifetime. And you and I will have our own time together to have wonderful adventures that then and still have no guilt about our children. So I think
Kate Toon:
If you’re not old and wobbly, by then got wait that we’ve got a while to wait. So we have to stay young and fresh until we can finally have our adventures. But we were talking there about your ADHD. And I wonder, you know, talking about your second set of kids really primarily how do you think that’s affected your parenting style? Do you think you how can you recognize your parenting style?
Tony Cosentino:
That’s a good question or not affects my business style, parenting style, I guess it would do as well, because I need that I don’t have the great for future planning aspect of my, the way my brain works, it’s hard for me to plan ahead. So I guess their mom does more of the future planning for certain things. I’m very in the moment. So when we’re doing things together, I’m there 100%. So it’s kind of ebbs and flows.
Kate Toon:
Do you think I mean, in the book, which Tony hasn’t read yet. So you know, that’s great. But in the book we talk about, like the four main styles of parenting and you know, we’ve got authoritative, which is kind of very, ‘do as I say’, kind of parenting rules and whatever. We’ve got permissive, which is like, ‘Hey, man, kind of let it go’. And then we have the other sides of that, which I was I forget the third one. But one of them’s this authoritarian and authoritative, which is where you have boundaries, but you’re a good listener, and you talk to your kid. And I would say, from the outside in your, you’re that kind of parents that you do have boundaries. And you talk to her, but you did talk to your kids a lot about stuff, don’t you?
Tony Cosentino:
I do. And I do try and mix it up between authoritative and friendly. So I want to do is I’ll, I’ll kind of let them free flow a bit. And then there’s a cut off where, okay, it’s getting too relaxed, I’ve got to become more authoritarian. So it’s kind of like the weekend comes, we, the guard comes down, we have fun. And then I’ve still got to get them to school on time on Monday. And I’ve got to, you know, do get the homework done and get this the important things done. So, but.
Kate Toon:
I know you find that quite hard. That’s sort of switching roles, because we’ve talked about it like, you know, you would like to be a bit more of an easygoing dad. But sometimes you could test the boundaries, and you have to be the like, you know, like I was this morning with my son, like, it’s 20 plus eight, you need to leave the house and it kind of, and I had to get quiet kind of come on and pushy or whatever. And it’s a shame I don’t want to be that kind of Baron, can you just do what you’re supposed to do? I don’t want to have to post you about. Unfortunately, it’s unavoidable, isn’t it?
Tony Cosentino:
It is it is unfortunate. It’s just human nature. If you don’t provide any boundaries, then they’ll they’ll just switch off. And they’d like, lay around all day if you’d like them. So unfortunately.
Kate Toon:
Wouldn’t we all? So you know, thinking about that parenting style. It’s kind of useful to degree but I think what’s more important is to think about what you what you think makes a good parent, like the definition of a good parent is wide and vast and everyone’s interpretation is different. But you know, obviously, kind of having two sets of children, you almost kind of got a second chance. Did you have different? Did you have lines in the sand of things at this time? I want to ensure this, this and this were the values that you felt were important to your parenting?
Tony Cosentino:
I think this time I wanted to really be an example. You know, because I was away in the Navy a lot. With the first two. I didn’t get to give them examples. I could you know. It’s almost like watching from a distance you’re parenting. Whereas if someone want to be the example of integrity, and I make a point of, you know, not being cranky in the car, when someone cuts you off and things like that, to show them or let people in, when they when they or let people cross the road, I try and show them by example, how to be a good human being. And, yeah, that’s my biggest thing is it’s showing good integrity and how to be nice to people you have never met.
Kate Toon:
I really liked that, I think as well that you mentioned that you’re not much of a pre planner, much to my chagrin, and I’m a massive planner. But one thing you’re way better at is being in the moment, you know, so it’s like, it’s always a saying, I’m great at planning, you know, adventures and organizing the day. And we’ll do this at 10. And we’ll do that, you know, we talk to each other at the weekend. And I’m like, What are you doing? You’re like, oh, I don’t know. And I am on a massive schedule. But then you’re much better at like, you play games with your sons for hours and hours and hours. And I could probably manage about 20 minutes, and then I’d be like, I can’t do this that anymore. So do you think that’s one of your core strengths? Like, as you said, being in the moment?
Tony Cosentino:
Yeah, yeah, that does work well. Because we can come up with an idea. And we’ll just, I’ll just run with it. You know, some, I don’t know, they want to create something. So let’s go get the gadgets to make that thing happen, you know, and the gaming doing things with them is awesome, I find that when we can start having a laugh. And that removes the parenting barrier that’s there, temporarily. Yeah. So enjoy that.
Kate Toon: You can just be a big kid. And so you know, you’ve mentioned that you you have the kids a lot. And you’re trying to juggle that work and parenting thing, and I know that you find it a massive struggle, like we’ve talked about this a lot, you know, you only really have two clear days a week to work, and then the rest of your hemmed in, by pickup and drop off. You know, how does that impact you? You know, do you think it’s impinged your business? What are your thoughts about that struggle?
Tony Cosentino:
Yeah, yeah, definitely. It’s definitely created a, my business has to move slower, because I’ve got less working hours and more interruptions and the interruptions is the hardest part. Because, you know, particularly with an ADD brain with anyone else, you get into a flow and you get things done. And that’s
more, it’s, it’s even more intensified with ADD, once you get in the flow, you can get move mountains, but if it’s constantly being broken the flow, then you don’t get as much done. So it’s it’s definitely, you know, being an involved parent does mean your business can’t grow as fast. It’s just a fact of life. Yeah.
Sorry, you go. I’ve think I’ve got better at working in little sprints and then knowing that I’m going to be going off to do something else, and then coming back to the work and making sure I’ve bookmarked it well, so that I can kind of continue on from where I left off.
Kate Toon:
But I also think you’ve actually evolved your whole business to fit in to your lifestyle, because you’re not willing to compromise on the time with your kids. And so the can’t keep going on about that. Do you know me lots of parents, again, if only I had this time, it’s like, it’s never going to change, it’s never going to change. So rather than railing against the change, can you fit your change your business to fit your lifestyle, which I think is what you’ve done, because one of the things that used to really struggle with was large, ongoing projects, because they were always broken up into tiny, tiny chunks, which meant they could never be cost effective. Because you were constantly picking them up and putting them down. So you actually changed your business to not do large projects. And now you do micro fixes, you know, like short sessions, one-hour trainings. I think that was the biggest step you made, like admitting defeat, and then evolving and changing your business to actually a much better model for your brain as well. Because it’s not just your family that was interrupting you. Your brain doesn’t find it hard to get into those big chunky projects as well. Have I summarized that right?
Tony Cosentino:
Perfect. absolutely perfectly right. Yeah. A big project is my worst nightmare. Too many. Yeah, to activate the dopamine in your brain, you need a bit of fear of like a deadline coming up to produce the best focus. And if you don’t have a deadline, if it’s a long project, there are no real deadlines until the end, so you don’t get the dopamine push that you need to kind of get into the flow, until it’s too late, so that’s what the short projects are great.
Kate Toon:
I read a meme that you know add people can get, you know, make, take, take half an hour to do eight hours work or take eight hours to do half an hour’s work and it’s never inbetween, but also is a fun we were reading that report that you gave me the other day to read and it said one of the crucial things was, you know, neurotypical brains can achieve things because they understand the importance of the job. And they can prioritize that even if it’s not a desperate deadline or anything that can go I know, this is important, and I know the deadline’s far off, but I need to get through it today. Otherwise, I’m gonna get into a panic and add brains can’t do that as well. It either has to have huge reward, enjoyment, reward, or the deadline has to be imminent. And it’s only those things so you’re really enjoying it, you’ll work on it. And if the deadline is tomorrow, you’ll work on it. But other than that, it’s quite a struggle. Again, I’m summarizing for you. But from the documents you’ve given me to read.
Tony Cosentino:
Yeah, that’s exactly it. That’s exactly it. A long assignment at school was just a nightmare. You know, the four weeks to do the work, it all gets done in the last week.
Kate Toon:
Yeah. So I mean, that’s probably your biggest challenge, as a parent running your business, but also that mild frustration about the pace, you know, the things you could do, your schedule is a lot more rigid than mine. So for example, I’m often saying to Tony, oh, you know, I want to go off to Brisbane and speak, can you come with me? And the effort it would take for you to negotiate that from your partner? Sometimes it isn’t. It’s to Tony’s that I’m just building up to asking, I’m building up to asking. And I think that must, you know, it’s that’s hard for you. So how do you balance that kind of frustration? With obviously, the deep love of your children? Because it’s a conflict, isn’t it?
Tony Cosentino:
It’s a massive conflict. So I’m always it’s always an arm wrestle about? What am I going to prioritize? And I’m trying to, you know, be a great parent first, really, and make enough money to have a good life. So if I made it the other way around, I could have a really crap relationship with my kids. I guess that’s my biggest fear.
Kate Toon:
Yeah, so parenting first business second, and I think that’s true for a lot of people. Or if it isn’t, as your kids get older, you kind of regret that it wasn’t, that wasn’t the priority. So how do you manage parental guilt? I mean, you do give an awful lot to your kids, and you’re with them an awful lot. So I’m assuming guilt doesn’t come up that much for you? Because really, you you’re with them so much that does it come up?
Tony Cosentino:
Only occasionally, like school holidays is a good example, if there aren’t massive interesting things that we’ve done on the holidays, and their friends have gone to Bali, and you know, all kinds of places, there’s a bit of guilt there. But for me, my biggest measuring stick is at the end of the day, are they happy when they go to sleep, are they healthy, that’s all I want. And if I’ve had a good day, and there hasn’t been like, something they’re going to write a story about, but they go to bed happy. And that’s how I kind of deal with the guilt, as long as they’re happy.
Kate Toon:
So it’s more around not doing extravagant things with them and going away yet, so that that whole, you know, idea of presence, not presents. You know, actually, most kids really just want you to spend time with them. And you know, that could be at the supermarket. One thing I talk to you about very early on was me giving up on the notion of quality time, which is something I talk about in the book, I don’t believe in quality time, I hate that expression. Because I think all time can be quality. Even if you’re sitting in the kitchen, peeling potatoes together that can be quality time. It’s not about taking your kids to the zoo, which is often quite hideous experience in reality, having a day out at the zoo with all your family and come all have all get exhausted, spend a fortune, come home have around, you know, often the best times are just wandering around the supermarket.
Tony Cosentino:
I find that’s the key. That’s the thing. That’s like Steve Jobs used to take people for a walk around the block to talk because the first activity kind of breaks down barriers, so you can actually talk more naturally. So that’s a good example of peeling potatoes and having a chat.
Kate Toon:
It’s just the side thing like one of the best conversations I have with my son or driving him around in the car. There’s something about the fact that we’re not necessarily making eye contact, and we’re busy doing something that just lets the conversation flow. Whereas if I sat him down and looked at him and talked to him, he’d be like, stop it. So it’s interesting. So you mentioned Steve Jobs. And I do talk about Steve Jobs in the book because people often look to Steve Jobs as like this example of what an amazing businessman he was, same with Jeff Bezos and Mark Zuckerberg, and you know, Bill Gates, but then when you actually examine their lives and their relationships, it all came at a massive cost. You know, Steve Jobs has had a very complex relationship with his kid. And, you know, so I think people often will create heroes without really seeing the full story. You know, they’re just they get the bits that are good. But one thing Steve was very good at was productivity. We all know that he wore the same outfit every day just to reduce choice. What are some things that have really helped you be more productive?
Tony Cosentino:
I love having to do list, I love having an electronic to do list. Because with my brain, my biggest fear is forgetting something. So I’ll prioritize something that is not a high priority, so that I get it done without forgetting about it. But if I can get it onto a to do list, then I’m comfortable that it’s somewhere. And then from that list, I look at it every day and work out, out of those things what do I need to do today, tomorrow, the next day, then that goes into the calendar to schedule the blocks of time. And once I’ve got things into the calendar, my stress always go down, because I know they’ve got some kind of plan. And then of late because I’ve had a lot of chunky work, potentially coming through that I’ve had to use like Gantt charts to kind of map out for once in my life, the future, you know, few months to see how much work I should be taking on next. So that I don’t over commit myself.
Kate Toon:
Yeah, that I mean, I think every person who’s come on the podcast has talked about time blocking with their calendar as the single most important productivity tip, which is often not just about planning out the work, but we’re being more realistic about what work you can get done. Because one of the things we’ve talked about a lot with you is your there’s massive unrealistic view of how many hours a week you have, because you’re counting like the hours in the evening and hours here and there. But they’re not at the same brain capacity. And we know when I think when we really in the book, we have a whole breakdown of it. And I worked out my time. And really I only have 15 productive hours a week, when I’m really honest about it, when I think about drop off and pick up and going to the loo. And how my brain works. It’s 15 hours, that I’m actually billable and productive. And that’s not very much. But at least if I know that I can stop setting my week up for a 30 hour week, and feeling terrible at the end. So because the other thing I noticed that again, ADD brain and I’m talking for you, but something you’ve raised as well as things get so loud in your brain, that you have to do them because you can’t see past them to anything else. Like you’re like I can’t move forward with, even though these other tasks as important, this thing has become so big in my brain, I must do it. So is that is that true? Have I got that?
Tony Cosentino:
Right, that’s exactly right. If I’ve got three high priority jobs, I cannot do or a bit of each at once. It will, it never works, I always find that I’ve gotta go, Okay, two and three are going to be finishing later. And I have to do one until it’s completed and out of my head, then I go to to complete it. And then I get to three, I cannot do a bit of one, two and three at the same time. It just doesn’t work.
Kate Toon:
But I think that’s you know, I think that’s true of most people. I think multitasking is a huge myth, as in what you end up doing is doing a bad job of all three things. And I think one of the biggest challenges for business owners is just finishing what you’ve started finish the thing before you move on to the next thing. So I think completion is something we could all you know, I think that’s actually, I think, and again, I think we’ve add, people often phrase it in the negatives, I actually think it’s quite positive to be single minded, finish one task and then move on to the other than rather than trying to keep all the plates spinning. But I guess it’s about not letting the plate completely fall. So productivity, to do lists, time blocking, Gantt charts, I know you do endless to do lists. And you’re a lot more realistic about your time now as well. Money is a challenge as well. And I think again, lots of people I talk to because I coach a lot of people add money is a massive mindset issue for people with ADHD. What is that? What’s that about? Do you think?
Tony Cosentino:
I wish I knew
Kate Toon:
Something to investigate, right?
Tony Cosentino:
For me, my tax was an issue initially used to get always get behind on tax until I put automatic weekly transfers to put tax money aside once I could calculate the right amounts, and then savings so once my wife I happen because I’ve got that as an automatic transfer as well. It’s the only way if I sit there and go, I’ll just wait and see how much is left at the end of the week. It’s never gonna work. Absolutely never gonna work that for some reason. Your brain just goes well there’s this pile of money. Let’s utilize it.
Kate Toon:
Let’s spend it.
Tony Cosentino:
Yeah, let’s get some get some new software gets a new this gets a toaster, whatever nuts.Yeah, automated automated transfers is the only thing that saves my butt really for financially. Yeah, I think it’s great years to get to that.
Kate Toon:
Yeah. But I think it’s great that you’ve recognized that and, you know, another thing I find is this sort of impulse purchase thing that you know, it’s like and I also noticed that like is as long as you have less than less money that you tend to want to spend it more like it’s weird and it’s kind of the reverse psychology of enjoying saving. I’ve desperately tried to push Tony towards doing profit first. I feel like you’re getting there with your own version of it with automatic transfers and kind of like the envelope system because Profit First is what changed my life because I don’t have a ADHD or I’m not diagnosed. But, you know, I’m not great with money, you know, and I would all the money would go into the same pot, I would have no idea which was mine tax time, every single time was ridiculous. I had never saved enough. I was always horrified. And also, I never felt like I was getting anywhere. Because I never had that savings blob building up, because it just I would whatever I had spent, you know, and that’s been the biggest single change for me is, you know, putting some boundaries in place to temper my own nature. I guess it’s challenging, isn’t it?
Tony Cosentino:
It is.
Kate Toon:
Having your own business is such a personal development course. Really?
Tony Cosentino:
Yeah. Yeah. It is. It is. It is. It’s It’s its own entity that has to survive. It’s got to have structure and financial stability.
Tony Cosentino:
And yeah, it takes years and years to get to that point where you can, yeah,
Kate Toon:
I mean, you’re a sole trader. And so it’s all on you. And I think what people underestimate, and you’ve been doing this for a long time now as well, to have to sit down at your desk every single day and self motivate and plan your day out every day and be entirely responsible for all the money and everything is a challenge. It’s why most businesses fail within the first year or three years. You know, I think we all need to pat ourselves on the bottom for the fact that we’re still here doing this, because it’s hugely daunting. A positive and motivated, right?
Tony Cosentino:
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.
Kate Toon:
So I want to move on to just a little bit about I know that you’re very keen to get your family involved in the business, because you’ve seen my son and how he’s employed in my business. And you’re super keen for your kids to do the same, but it hasn’t worked out as well as you’d like it to. And why do you think that is? Do you think it’s just the nature of your your kids? Or what what do you think?
Tony Cosentino:
Fynn, my 13 year old going on 14 is very, is a bit like me. He’s very driven by what he needs in the moment. So if he needs to get a new thing, then he comes and asked me for work to do, but he does not. And then he’ll use all that money until it’s gone. Yeah, doesn’t want to leave anything left over. So he, he’s not motivated to plan ahead and save for
Kate Toon:
Long term.
Tony Cosentino:
Even if I say to him, why don’t you just do the work so that when this thing comes up next time, it’s just sitting there and he ate, it doesn’t compute, and I can’t really knock that because that’s how my brain works. Sam, Sam is more your son in a way he’s, he’s definitely already thinking about shares to get in the future and things like that. But he was just a bit daunted by some of the work that I was getting my 13 year old to do. He’s worried that it was above his pay grade, really.
Kate Toon:
I love that. I need a promotion. But it’s funny, isn’t it? I think even just starting off with small tasks, that’s what I did with the ride, you know, I have a lot of posts to do. And that was something he’s been helping with, since he was about six writing very cute scrawly addresses on envelopes and sticking stamps on stuff. And now it’s evolved to him doing all my social media, you know, got to the point where he’s making the Canva graphics and writing the posts and choosing, like it’s, it’s, it’s actually quite terrifying, and wonderful. And he’s a fully employed person in my business. Now, I just did payroll yesterday, and a little bit of money went off to him. So it can happen. But I think it’s you have to know your child and how they function and that recognizing their so different, you know, nature and nurture, but also you’re such a different parent, each stage in your life. You know, the parent, you were when you had Fynn is very different to the parent you were when you had Sam. Sounds just weird, isn’t it?
Tony Cosentino:
It is, it is all four are totally different.
Kate Toon:
Yeah. And I’ll never know that because I’ve only got one. So I’ll never know how the next one would have would have turned out although I do think Pomplemoose is very spoiled being the firstborn. And there’s some there. So look, you know, we’ve covered off productivity money, we’ve talked a little bit about open communication and your parenting style, and getting your family involved in the business. I guess what I like to finish up with on the podcast is self-care, because as we said, there’s a lot on you, you’re your sole contractor, you have your own business and you’re a very involved parent. You know, the pressure of that the beating drum at the back of the mind of knowing all this relies on me, is a lot. So how do you cope with that? And how do you look after yourself to keep yourself turning up every day?
Tony Cosentino:
Yeah, it’s been a progression. But over the last couple of years, I have really realized that I’ve got to have very good diet. As far as you know, having smoothies every day, having really good quality supplements to make sure that there’s enough nutrients going into my body. And then prioritizing exercise on a daily basis, so Monday to Friday, you know, I’m doing four kilometer walk on a treadmill with inclines and stuff, and 60 push ups. And that’s really made a difference because I kind of read or heard somewhere that, you know, if you do some activity first, you’ve got more neural pathways being made. Because your body, your brain thinks you’re going to new territory that you might have to remember how to get back from. So it kind of is a double advantage that I’m healthier and hopefully pushes my business forward better because I’ve got more retention of what I’m doing after I do the exercise.
Kate Toon:
So self-care looks like exercise. It looks like supplements, but do you do anything nice for yourself, how do you reward yourself after a hard day?
Tony Cosentino:
My ultimate reward, I guess is to lay back and watch something on TV. TV to me is is a reward at the end
Kate Toon:
Oh me too.
Tony Cosentino:
To stop thinking about everything and look at something, you know, watch Vikings or watch whatever.
Kate Toon:
And I like to watch the trashes TV ever. And people aren’t my son’s dad always used to mock me for that. But I’m like, I am clever all day, my brain is Go Go Go thinking of new things. I like to watch something really dumb at the end of the day, and just let my you know, I can almost imagine like, if you took a photo of my tongue would be hanging out and be drooling. And that’s what I need at the end of a brain heavy days. So I’m the same love a bit of TV. Nothing wrong with that. What do you think has been the biggest driver to your success? How have you, you know, describe that so far? What drives you?
Tony Cosentino:
Always wanting to learn new things, which I don’t know whether that’s every business owner or not. But for me, I’m still excited about all what’s going on in the web online space. So because I’m looking for new challenges, that kind of means that I’m finding new things to make the website work that I do better and find more, new ways to enhance the businesses that I’m working with. And I get excited, I’m also very dedicated to the people that I work with. So they’re always in the back of my mind, want to see any tool that I can apply to their business. So I think I’ve been successful, because I’ve always been reliable to the businesses that I’ve worked with for 10 years, some of them and always fight trying to innovate, not just getting stuck in the old what my old ways, just just always trying to find new things, which is part of my ADD brain as well.
Kate Toon:
So this is it. And that’s why it’s something to be celebrated your relentless curiosity, I think, and your passion for different things, is a superpower, you know, which a lot of us don’t have, you know, I sometimes find it hard to get excited about new things to try and engender that. So I think, you know, it’s so important to see the positives and the negatives of ADD. And I think often, when people get a diagnosis, they feel that it’s like the end of the world. And this is really negative. And now they’ve got this thing. And it’s like no, because it’s the so many amazing parts of it, as well. And I feel like for during our relationship, you’ve recognized that so much more and managed to mitigate the negatives with all your apps and your tools and your structure and you’re big into habit stacking and layering things on top of each other. So I mean, you now compared to you five years ago, are a very different creature, I would say.
Tony Cosentino:
That’s right. The habit stacking is a huge thing. It’s same thing with the savings for tax savings for savings, healthy routines, they’re all habits that I’ve kept, but the systems, The ADD or ADHD is finding some systems that you can put in place that I have reminders of my phone, it’s Joe’s caveman all the time. So that I don’t forget things and my calendar, reminders pop up. Thankfully, we haven’t heard any this session but all the time.
Kate Toon:
I’ve never met a man with more notifications. It’s ridiculous. And yeah, and I think you know, that’s the whole ethos of the book, Six Figures in School Hours. It’s not about some secret strategy or some you know, amazing masterplan, success, six figures, whatever you want it to look like is made out of lots and lots of micro choices and really understanding your mindset, your money, how you stay productive, how you communicate, how you involve your family and how you look after yourself. And it’s that combination of all those pieces of pie that make a successful business, whatever that means to you. So that was a great summary of my book there as well. Tony Cosentino, thank you for being my boyfriend and thank you for being on the podcast.
Tony Cosentino:
Well, thank you for being my girlfriend.
Kate Toon:
It’s a wonderful experiences
Tony Cosentino:
It is.
